Day two. Where did it all begin?
Day two
Where did it all begin?
The roots of my addiction may reside in my high school years.
I was a very busy student running from rehearsals to rehearsal and job to job but anytime I grabbed dinner at home it was alone in my room in front of my television with the Cosby’s-my surrogate family. If I remember correctly the Cosby reruns were on WGN, channel 9 in Chicago at 5:30pm, I would get home from orchestra from the Elgin youth symphony around that time, run up to my room and watch television for an hour depending on what I had going on that night. Off I would go to the next thing.
My parents didn’t get along at all so eating together was not possible. I remember eating with my little brother when we were really little and then again with my Grandfather when my Grandma died. Sad when I look back because I didn’t really get to know my 2 younger brothers and do not have many memories of them in my high school years but I suppose a lot of teenagers are busy surviving and struggling with school, work, family & friends. I always wondered why my Father didn’t leave us, he could have but I guess he knew no other life to live.
I told my brother last night of my plan to stop watching television. His first sarcastic, yet endearing response “To become more intellectual?” I suppose that would happen. I used to read more, study my languages more, work on projects more. Perhaps I got burned out. I told him of my hidden addiction. “I’d be addicted to TV if I had 300 channels.” was his reply. True, we have Dish network along with Rai from Italy and TV 5 monde from France. Am missing the news from Paris right now but it would probably just depress me and then I would see a commercial with some pill to cure my depression, which would depress me more because then I would have to see my Dr. to get said pill and Dr.’s are depressing; it means something is wrong.
My addiction started hitting me again this week because A. I sprained my ankle while hiking a week ago with my brother. 2. I lost a dear friend of mine, well more like a colleague who I considered a friend. Back to my brother. My brother predicted that I would wake up in the middle of the night drawing televisions on the wall containing my favorite shows and episodes. “Friends” would make the cut along with "How I met my Mother" and ROME, loved ROME.
Last night my guy told me I was muttering in my sleep a dialogue from Seinfield.
Yeah right, like I am that nuts. However, If I were “nuts” this would probably make a better read. Perhaps I should consider losing it. No, that would mean I would have to turn on the television and wait for one of those depression/anxiety/social disorder pill commercials to come on (which really would only take about 30 seconds) in order to write down the name of the pill that I would then tell my Dr. to get me but he wouldn’t get me the one that I wanted because his kick back comes from a different company. Darn it anyhow.
PS. Perhaps people do not need social anxiety pills, perhaps they really don't like socialzing and that is OK. It's ok to be different and even unhappy from time to time.
On the bottom of each entry I will put a list of things I did today instead of watching TV:
1. Went out to breakfast instead of watching mind numbing morning shows.
2. worked
3. Looked up Opera, Die Tote Stadt, read it, and wrote out English translation of my aria from opera. Practiced aria.
4. Scheduled lessons with Bill and Jim
5. Made duck confit ravioli for dinner
6. Wrote friends regarding new Imac. Is it true?
7. Had withdrawal symptoms during dinner because I usually eat in front of TV. Sat on porch with guy instead who, btw, doesn’t care for TV
Where did it all begin?
The roots of my addiction may reside in my high school years.
I was a very busy student running from rehearsals to rehearsal and job to job but anytime I grabbed dinner at home it was alone in my room in front of my television with the Cosby’s-my surrogate family. If I remember correctly the Cosby reruns were on WGN, channel 9 in Chicago at 5:30pm, I would get home from orchestra from the Elgin youth symphony around that time, run up to my room and watch television for an hour depending on what I had going on that night. Off I would go to the next thing.
My parents didn’t get along at all so eating together was not possible. I remember eating with my little brother when we were really little and then again with my Grandfather when my Grandma died. Sad when I look back because I didn’t really get to know my 2 younger brothers and do not have many memories of them in my high school years but I suppose a lot of teenagers are busy surviving and struggling with school, work, family & friends. I always wondered why my Father didn’t leave us, he could have but I guess he knew no other life to live.
I told my brother last night of my plan to stop watching television. His first sarcastic, yet endearing response “To become more intellectual?” I suppose that would happen. I used to read more, study my languages more, work on projects more. Perhaps I got burned out. I told him of my hidden addiction. “I’d be addicted to TV if I had 300 channels.” was his reply. True, we have Dish network along with Rai from Italy and TV 5 monde from France. Am missing the news from Paris right now but it would probably just depress me and then I would see a commercial with some pill to cure my depression, which would depress me more because then I would have to see my Dr. to get said pill and Dr.’s are depressing; it means something is wrong.
My addiction started hitting me again this week because A. I sprained my ankle while hiking a week ago with my brother. 2. I lost a dear friend of mine, well more like a colleague who I considered a friend. Back to my brother. My brother predicted that I would wake up in the middle of the night drawing televisions on the wall containing my favorite shows and episodes. “Friends” would make the cut along with "How I met my Mother" and ROME, loved ROME.
Last night my guy told me I was muttering in my sleep a dialogue from Seinfield.
Yeah right, like I am that nuts. However, If I were “nuts” this would probably make a better read. Perhaps I should consider losing it. No, that would mean I would have to turn on the television and wait for one of those depression/anxiety/social disorder pill commercials to come on (which really would only take about 30 seconds) in order to write down the name of the pill that I would then tell my Dr. to get me but he wouldn’t get me the one that I wanted because his kick back comes from a different company. Darn it anyhow.
PS. Perhaps people do not need social anxiety pills, perhaps they really don't like socialzing and that is OK. It's ok to be different and even unhappy from time to time.
On the bottom of each entry I will put a list of things I did today instead of watching TV:
1. Went out to breakfast instead of watching mind numbing morning shows.
2. worked
3. Looked up Opera, Die Tote Stadt, read it, and wrote out English translation of my aria from opera. Practiced aria.
4. Scheduled lessons with Bill and Jim
5. Made duck confit ravioli for dinner
6. Wrote friends regarding new Imac. Is it true?
7. Had withdrawal symptoms during dinner because I usually eat in front of TV. Sat on porch with guy instead who, btw, doesn’t care for TV
posted by Haley at 10:21 PM
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